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Join me in figuring out "what now?"

What do the Words Mean?

on 19 June, 2018

How can I tell you how much I miss him? This is one of those days that he would have been right here to help… when I wasn’t feeling well, he knew my comfort food. He knew he could curl up beside me and watch “The Thing” for the ten thousandth time. He knew when to talk and when to be silent and just “be”.

I know most people, by this point, have long since stopped reading. There is just so much compassion and understanding people can have before something requires their time and attention.

What I say here virtually never changes and one can be sympathetic for so long. For me, however, every morning I have to wake up to the fact that he is gone and he is never coming back. Every morning is a fresh set of heartache and pain and losing him all over again.

I can’t image living with this every day of my life, yet I still somehow manage to wake up the next day. To the pain of knowing he is still dead and I will never see him or touch his skin or hear his voice. I know I fall asleep every night from sheer exhaustion – exhaustion from pretending that I am fine, that I have something to live for, that I need another day.

But another day simply means more grief and heartache. There is no end in sight. There is no hope on the horizon. And there is no happiness waiting.

 


One response to “What do the Words Mean?

  1. geoffmitch says:

    Even if I or others can’t change this awful situation, there’s still reading and support – our individual lives are demanding and time-consuming but it doesn’t imply the loss of or lack of compassion. Keep posting.

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