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Missing My Sweet Boy Today

on 18 May, 2018

Sometimes things happen that make me feel so alone in the world.

I turned on Netflix and on their homepage had the three episodes of both “The Lord of the Rings” and “The Hobbit”.

Sometime back, like 2014 or so, the theatre that we attend, they had all three of “The Hobbits” playing for the premier of the last movie. We were so excited that we bought passes and for about 7 hours – with a few breaks – we were transformed back to age of hobbits. We had so much fun.

These are the times I miss him most. And overhearing Dan make plans to fly out to visit his daughter and son and his aunt and uncle, there is no mention of solace to the man who had been his father for 22 years. Not a fucking word.

Which leads me to believe that I am ALL ALONE in this world. I really have no reason to keep drawing breath. This has been such an up and down day.

I have been reading the blog of a friend and something I read caught my attention. 12:34 am or pm. As for him, it too is something that catches his eye. And similar things that people normally don’t recognize.

For me, its little things that I see that I believe that Streeter is near. Like sitting at a traffic light and watch 5 green cars in a row go by. When you glance up and the time is that magically 12:34. Or my mourning doves who sit on my balcony and sing those sad tunes. They all make me thing of the only good thing that ever came out of my life.

2015-12-05 18.53.22

Streeter's Mom Final

 


One response to “Missing My Sweet Boy Today

  1. geoffmitch says:

    I met a friend for coffee today, one I’ve not seen for ~1yr or longer. During the course of our 1hr conversation, I shared your circumstance and recent experience. We’re both parents, his kids at or slightly older than my own. He was speechless and visibly shaken. His heart went out to you immediately. I’ve shared this w/Jennifer (girlfriend) along the way and she’s got two kids in their early 20’s as well, and she’s just as empathic for your pain as I am. My point being… you’re not alone. Yes, you are ‘walking this path’ alone, that is painfully true, but you’re flanked, supported and encouraged by people you’ve never even met. Anybody following this closely likely includes a range of additional connections following along, through them.

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