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Why Should I Ever Have to Say: “I Mean It!”

on 6 July, 2015

Sometimes I think that women are saddled with a thankless chore. At least for me, I can get so frustrated by having to ask for the simplest things over and over. Sometimes I think it is my fault, because just to keep the peace, I usually end up doing whatever chore or thing that I have asked for. And I guess in The Kid’s head, he knows it. I can ask three times and then I get frustrated and he knows not to show his face. But then, by not getting there and doing what I’ve asked (yes, three times… at least three times) he can only make the situation worse. Even if he does show, its no use. The thing has taken hold of my brain.

Sometimes I fear that he will only eventually learn these things (and to fill you in on the latest unfinished/undone chore, it is wiping the top of the stove and microwave) if I either stop doing them or that I am not around to make him do them. But more than likely he will eventually have a girlfriend and/or wife who will be mad at him because he can’t do the simplest things…

But why do these things drive me so fucking crazy? He can actually get the dirty dishes from his room into the kitchen and onto the counter right next to the sink and right above the dishwasher. But never actually IN THE SINK OR DISHWASHER.

Its a million of these little things… and I’m guessing that it was like that for my mom with all of us kids. There was, at least for me, this magical point in my life where all of a sudden, I couldn’t deal with the clutter and dust and dirt and full garbage cans. Sometime during my senior year of high school, I became finicky and neat and tidy. I swear, it was almost like I could remember the day when I no longer could stand dirty clothes on the floor or my records all over the dresser not in their sleeves. When suddenly the vacuum cleaner became a good friend of mine. And I really learned how disgusting dust is.

Did you know that 85% of household dust is dead skin? Yuck!

Anyway… I have been waiting and waiting for that moment for The Kid. I dunno, maybe he did it backwards. When he was little – like toddler years – he was so fastidious. His teachers at daycare would tell me that he would walk around behind other children putting away their toys!  Maybe he used it all up or something.

Maybe it won’t come back to him until he is old. Like my Dad. In his last decade of life, he suddenly because organized and cleaned. He would talk to me about how when he showered he would clean the walls and then after he toweled off he would wipe down the walls of the shower and the doors. Couldn’t have water spots, he said. And the towels had to be washed every time. I suppose that makes sense since he was wiping down the walls, but still.

I always kind of prided myself on being “tolerant” when it came to cleaning. My mom had this little saying in the kitchen that said something to the effect of “the house is clean enough to be healthy but dirty enough to be happy”. I liked that sentiment. Much as no one ever said on their deathbed that they should have spent more time in the office, so did no one ever lament not cleaning enough. I wanted my son’s childhood to be full of wonderful happy memories of doing things together and exploring and learning… not of one watching his mother cleaning or never being able to get things messy.

But I wonder if I was too lenient. Someday, his future love is going to curse me for not teaching him the importance of cleaning the bathroom mirrors. But hopefully that by teaching him to put the seat down will make up for it.



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