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Taking It One Day At a Time

on 10 June, 2015

Watched something today that got me to thinking about quality of life and the right to end one’s own life – when and how a person wants.

The show was ostensibly about the Hemingways and how Muriel came from a long line of family members who had committed suicide. That, along with Ernest, his father, her other grandfather, her father and uncle and grandmother (on her mother’s side) along with some others. So, the discussion sort of gravitated towards what makes someone want to end their life.

SO, of course, it got me to thinking about it too. I mean, who is to say when a person decides that they’ve lived long enough. Is it still mental illness if the person is calm and rational and really just done living? I mean, who is to say how long you have to live? Right?

I remember when The Kid was young and we would talk about perspective. That twenty years is a long time if you’ve been sentenced to prison, but not long if you think about it in terms of death of a young person. And of course, I think about my age and how much longer I could live and sometimes I almost panic thinking about it. I mean, if you take the average age of my grandparents and my parents, I’d say I have a good thirty years, at the very least. And when I think of that number, I get almost numb with the thought of spending those years plopped in front of a television and having no life at all.

I think the way I am feeling today is due to the frustration that I am having right now. I finally get my ortho doc to agree that it is high time we replace my knees and the realization that I can’t do it without first going to work for at least a few months (six months would be optimum). But to think of hobbling around on these knees for a further six months really just makes me want to cry. (And sometimes I do!)

I don’t seem to be in a mood to sew or quilt, to paint or refinish furniture or any of the myriad of things that I love to do. I am just a bit down today and feeling pretty dark blue.

I could stand some really good news or something. Maybe I will turn in early tonight and try to get a fresh perspective in the morning. If you have any good news, please be sure to share it. I can take pleasure in other people’s good fortunes as well.



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