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The Joys of Spring… Yeah, Right.

on 4 May, 2015

One would think that springtime would encourage feelings of hope and rebirth and celebration, but I find that spring showers elicit melancholy from me. It doesn’t help that I have a deck railing that seems to call mourning doves to roost there, singing their dark tunes. I sit today behind this screen with a headache that promises to be a real doozy, and I can’t help feel disappointed at the prospect of another day of pain.

Especially considering what an unexpectedly nice weekend I had. I suspect that it was primarily due to being able to spend much time with The Kid, even though our journeys yesterday ranged from disappointing to downright maddening. In trying to do something nice for someone, it pushed both me and The Kid to our breaking points – cultivating with him throwing his phone on the floor and his voice raising an octave or two. It didn’t last too long, but once he or I go to that dark place, there isn’t a whole lot either of us can do to get back. Other than good old fashioned time.

I suspect that I may have hit that sweet spot that I am no longer truly enjoying time off from work. It has been a pretty regular pattern for me, I really need to have something to challenge or stimulate me else I lose interest and look for something new to keep me occupied. That could mean going back to work, if only I could find the right job. I really need something that I could throw myself into, and be surrounded by people who are as invested as much as I am in a project. That’s hard to find. But perhaps the process of hunting will keep me occupied for a while.

Or who knows what else may come along. As long as I keep my eyes, ears and heart open to new possibilities, it may be enough.

MacCupcake

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