You ever say something that you wished you could take back? When the words barely leave your lips and you wished that you could take a big deep breath in and pull the words right back?
Today I had a very important interview. And things were going smoothly, I was being all charming and had all the right answers and we were getting along really great. Then came the non-technical questions, you know the usual stuff, what do you like to do in your spare time, what is your greatest accomplishment, what are your strengths, and what are your weaknesses…?
And there it was. My big moment of ‘foot in mouth’ syndrome. I feel like such a dope. What did I say? I said that my biggest weakness was that I didn’t like to redo something. Doh! Like, repeating things is my job! What I meant to say, as I thought about it, was that I didn’t like to redo something that was never intended to redo, but because I had done something stupid to what I had just done…. like how I had written a great blog the other day and when I went to publish it, I realized at the last minute that I had forgotten to put tags on it, but some weird set of steps and somehow totally lost the entire post – text, pictures, witty reparteé – everything!
After spending several frantic minutes undoing and retracing steps hoping I could get it all back, I realized that it was gone. Gone, gone, gone. And after spending several hours carefully crafting each word, carefully editing each paragraph and photo, topping it all off with splendid dashes of humor and wit, I gave up and realized that it was gone.
I spent another couple of hours agitated over the wasted time. I hesitated about re-writing it. I knew that I felt dumb about not having saved the drafts as I went, I know better. Gah. And now I would have to spend hours re-writing it. I knew I would never be able to recapture the words, the feeling, the passion that I put into it the first time around. I was angry with myself, but eventually rewrote the column. But it was no where as good as the first time, nor as long nor as funny.
And all of that, is what I meant when I said I didn’t like redoing something. I hope against hope that he realized that, the gentleman interviewing me. I mean, it must be pretty obvious that I coulnd’t have lasted twenty-five years in the business if I didn’t like to repeat things! I mean that’s pretty much the whole premise of testing! Right?
Anyway, I hope that he got that. I think everything else went really well. This is a guy that I know that I could work for and along side. I really admire how long he has worked with the company and how far he has gotten. He exudes confidence and I admire that. I require that in a superior.
Okay, tons to do and I hope that pouring this out on paper (paper? ha!) will help me get past it. It is what it is and I can’t fix it by dwelling on it.